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There are three separate writing assignments in the Intermediate Expository writing course, namely: Vignettes, Commentary, and Academic Revision. I've already added the syllabus. I'm going to discuss the Scholarly Revision Article first, then the Commentary and Vignettes Articles.
The tutor, Davida Charney, Just graduated from the Academic Revision Paper to the students who had completed the revision by 6 December. However, for Vignettes and Comments assignments, Often ranked the submitted paper and got input on it. Since getting reviews, the paper is then re-submitted for grade bumping. This is the pattern I saw throughout the semester, so I was NOT aware that for the academic revision paper, she would ONLY consider the paper re-submitted by December 6th and fail to consider papers submitted on December 1st. I did NOT see this change in the syllabus. All the requirements she asked for were included in the December 1st paper. I worked hard on that and if only she graded it then I would have a better score.
When the instructor graded the paper submitted on December 6th, she stated, “What you have included as the original draft is actually a revision of the draft that you annotated. So, the extent of your changes is not fully reflected in your commentary. There, you focus on conciseness and clarity without saying anything about the effectiveness of the introduction, use of sources, and flow.”
ALL the key components the instructor required were addressed in the Commentary for the paper submitted on December 1st. That particular paper had detailed explanations of ALL changes made. ALL the key components were indeed addressed in the December 1st paper: subject strategy, topic hand off strategy, transitions, concision, flow of sentences, verbs attribution, effectiveness of introduction, reducing prepositions, elimination of unnecessary ideas, conversion of "ion" nouns to nominalization to verbs, removed expletive constructions like "there is" or " there was," tightness of some of the phrasing in my sentence structure, etc.
If I had known that she would NOT even look or grade the paper submitted on December 1st, I would NOT have re-submitted my paper on December 6th that only contained additional changes to bump up my grade from the December 1st paper.The December 6th paper only contained information on the additional changes that I made. It did NOT include everything that was on December 1st paper because she was to grade both papers like she did for the past two papers that were on Vignettes and Commentary. Since the instructor allows us to revise the academic revision after we turn it in on December 1st, then she should have looked at the December 1st paper. The instructor stated that, “I didn't begin grading until after Dec. 6 and didn't give a separate grade to the Dec. 1 draft to anyone who turned in a revision by Dec. 6.” It is not a mistake on my part since she said that we can do revisions for Academic Writing, Commentary, and Vignettes, therefore, she ought to have looked at the paper sent on December 1st.
I would have scored a higher grade if she had graded the paper submitted on December 1st. It would have been extremely fair if she had looked at my paper sent on December 1st. I truly believe I DON’T deserve 68 points out of 90, especially when I already made effort and fulfilled her requirements on that December 1st paper which was the final version. The December 6th paper just had extra changes made and she only made comments on the same and gave a grade for it. In addition to that, she gave me a score of 7.5 out of 10 for the annotations yet I do not know what mistakes were there.
She said the revision needs work yet I made significant changes to the revision and I can note the difference. If she had graded the paper sent on December 1st and then looked at the paper sent on December 6th, she would have noted that I made very significant changes on this revision entirely. My grade for the academic revision was a C. 75, which I deem as unfair and to prove this, I have attached the email conversations with the instructor.
I sent the last email with a different question requesting for clarification on the assignment due dates and how I would have received a higher grade if the first paper submitted on December 1st was graded like she graded the previous first papers for the first two essays. However, instead addressing the issue, she emailed me information on how she is always available for students during office hours and therefore, I had nothing to complain about. The teacher clearly misinterpreted the dissatisfaction that I expressed. When I addressed my concern via email, she discussed via email a completely different issue like generously staying after class past her office hours. Her generosity had nothing to do with the concern I had raised. Even though I explained to her that she misunderstood me, I did not receive any response after that from her.
I would like her to grade the paper submitted on December 1st and combine that with the additional changes made on December 6th paper which is the final version. Please note that I have attached the Academic Revisions paper submitted on December 1st and Academic revision paper submitted on December 6th. The paper sent on December 6th has statements below that proves that I had only added extra changes to the changes to the paper sent on December 1st.
“Based on what I sent to the instructor, I personally decided to work more on the introduction.”
“My previous conclusion was simple, short, and less interesting, but now my new conclusion is interesting, longer, and wraps up the main ideas.”
Commentary and Vignettes Paper
After making significant changes according to the instructor’s previous feedback and working on more changes as I deemed fit, the instructor ONLY provided a 2-point increase in my grade for Vignettes. Therefore, my score of 80 turned into an 82. For my Commentary, she did NOT increase my grade nor provide any increase in points, yet I made many significant changes. The grade remained as 77, which I perceive as unfair due to my effort and the changes I made. For more detailed explanation, I have written the grade appeal complaint letter, which I have attached. I have also attached all email conversations, essays and highlighted documents sent to the instructor. She responded that, “It is the case that substantial change is required for a revision to be considered for a grade change. But it does not guarantee it. The overall quality of the result is also important. I have already submitted grades. I see no basis for changing it.”
I made substantial changes which affected the overall quality of the result. I do not know what more improvements the instructor required when I had done what I could by working independently, attending her office hours, and even going to writing center countless times. The writing tutors also helped me accordingly. Further, I addressed the concerns that the instructor had in my paper by sending her an email on what specific changes I made in the vignettes document and I sent her one email about the specific changes I made in the Commentary. I also sent two highlighted documents for both that prove that I had done what was required. In addition to that, I specifically indicated the parts that she says I did not follow the instructions in the same document. For instance, where she thought I am acting as an outsider, I clearly showed that I am acting as an insider. I followed this requirement and my commentary section for both Vignettes and Commentaries show that I have made significant improvements. I sent her an email with these two highlighted documents indicating the parts to check, but she provided an unsatisfactory answer to my question since she did NOT address the information I highlighted in the document. She gave the same response she had given initially that “It is the case that substantial change is required for a revision to be considered for a grade change. But it does not guarantee it. The overall quality of the result is also important. I have already submitted grades. I see no basis for changing it.”
I made changes according to what I outlined. It looks like she provided an unsatisfactory answer without reading the attached document that had the highlighted information. She emailed me via iPhone and I believe you cannot see highlighted documents on an iPhone. I cannot see highlighted information in a document on iPhone. Otherwise, the instructor should have given a proper answer in response to my highlighted document.
I think that it would be good if the instructor clarifies about work that changes have been made on. My grades for both the Vignettes and Commentary should have been higher after I sent her the revised work. That would have been fair. Since my grades for both of these assignments had undergone no change, then it was as if I did not even have to put effort or even strive to make any change from the original feedback received. There was no point in working for hours after she provided ways to improve the work or even going to writing centers if I am not going to receive any benefit such as an increase in points in my grade. It affected my overall course grade where I got a B. If it were not for these unfair grades where she did not even give any increase in points or change in grade and she checked my academic revision sent on December 1st, my grade in the course would have been an A.
If I cannot have my grade changed to an A after addressing the problem and spending hours to file a grade appeal form due to this issue, then I hope that if she wants more changes, then please allow me to work on the Vignettes and Commentary again. After this semester’s exams and classes are done, I can work on these old assignments and in late May or early June turn them in. Additionally, I hope that I will receive proper ways and written feedback via email to make it better. I am taking 17 hours this semester so it would be very difficult to get this in earlier. It would also be fair if she also graded the paper submitted on December 1st for the Academic Revision since I put great effort in that and included all her requirements. I humbly request that the grade is changed by the department just by after filing an appeal since I am trying to focus on completing this semester’s rigorous courses. Finally, I am also applying to the business school this year, so finalized grades need to be in before admission results are out.

December 15, 2021
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