The NBA 2K15 Game Review

1. The introduction is engaging with the hook, “…Amazon and their plot to eventually take over the world” (ENGL-1302.WS6 1).  It is clever and riveting and there is no better way to introduce the topic.

2. The thesis is not a statement of fact but is rather interesting. The improvement could be in being specific so as to be supported by the topic sentences in the preceding body paragraphs.

3. All the topic sentences state the main ideas of each paragraph. An example is the topic sentence on page 2 paragraph 3. The remainder of the paragraph fully supports the topic sentence.

4. Whereas the paragraphs relate properly to the thesis, all the concluding sentences could improve. For example, the concluding sentence on page 2 paragraph 3 could be restated as ”Stereotyping was also portrayed using Middle Eastern people before the 9/11 terrorist attack and reinforces the bias against minorities.”

5. All the points have been fully developed in the body paragraphs. The length of the paragraphs indicates the writer took the time to develop each idea fully.

6. There are clear linkages and relations of the examples in the surrounding sentences and paragraphs.

7. The writer has organized the paper in a logical, coherent manner with the appropriate transitions to a new paragraph.

8. The writer can improve on the conclusion by re-stating the thesis statement while not introducing new material. The writer has given details of the NBA 2K game which is not included in the body of the paper (ENGL-1302.WS6 3).

9. The writer has made minimal mistakes in terms of grammar which is commendable.

10. The essay is generally a good read with facts which are relevant. The paper is strong on research and there is coherence in the presentation. 

Works Cited

ENGL-1302.WS6. ”Racial Stereotypes in Video Games”, 2018.