Self-Actualization

Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of wants places self-actualization at the top (Coon & Mitterer, 2010). This notion is characterized as "maximizing personal potential" (p. 338). This means that each person has a set of abilities that he or she acquires over time. Finding significance in one's life, accomplishing growth, obtaining wholeness, and even approaching perfection are all examples of self-actualization. This paper uses images from Chopin's The Awakening to illustrate the changing status of women in current society. Self-actualization would be gender-dependent. Women faced hurdles to their individualism as a result of their societal duties. Edna’s perception towards her role as a mother and wife provide insights on how these roles affect a woman’s journey towards self-actualization.

Key words: self-actualization; role of women

Self- Actualization and the Changing Role of Women in Contemporary Society

Self-Actualization is at the top of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (Coon & Mitterer, 2010). This concept is defined as the “full use of personal potential” (p. 338). This means that each person possesses a set of capabilities which he or she develops over time. Self-actualization means finding the meaning in one’s life, achieving growth, attaining wholeness, even nearing perfection.

The Awakening by Kate Chopin provides its readers with images of the different roles of women in society. This study focuses on the character of Mrs. Pontellier, a young married woman of 28, who went through the process of self-actualization. The following sections discuss three main themes from the text. These are (a) gender; (b) barriers to individuality; and (c) women’s attitude toward their roles.

Self-Realization Depends on Gender

Men and women are different and the matters that bring their self-fulfillment would likewise be different. In The Awakening, Edna discovers facets about herself when she went through certain experiences. She began to understand her interests, her relationship with children and friends, and her sexuality. In comparison, men prove their masculinity through their conquests. This may be in the form of business ventures like the kind that Edna’s husband is engaged in. Another form would be conquest of new lands, such as the activity that Edna’s love interest wanted to pursue.

The Changing Role of Women and the Barriers to Individuality

The women’s role in society has undergone major changes over the centuries. Such change may be closely related to the systems of food production existing in particular times. For example, in the hunting and gathering stages, the men bring food to the table, thus women’s role was purely in the caring of the home and the children. Decision-making was in the hands of the men because they were the ones who fed the family. Their physical strength ensured the survival of the family and succeeding generations. Several centuries later, in the contemporary world, the survival of families did not anymore depend entirely on the physical strength of the single male family member. The economies are becoming complicated and the survival of families requires other necessities besides food. Women take part in these activities contributing greatly to the production of various goods and services. Decision-making however has not been as widely distributed. In marriage, for example, the man is still regarded as the primary provider and the woman the main caregiver. Grossi (2014) provides a historical overview of how the concept of marriage changed in the past three centuries. She notes that a “significant change that has occurred to marriage is the slow removal of men’s total power and control over their wives” (p.26). The equality between the partners in marriage has not fully been attained yet in the 21st century. It is encouraging to note, though, that such total power is slowly changing.

In traditional societies, the husband is the provider of the household needs. He has authority over all members, including his wife. The wife, therefore, becomes part of his possessions. Such an arrangement not only limits the wife’s personal growth, it also puts her at risk to abuse from the husband. Since the husband perceives himself as superior over his wife, the latter may not acquire freedom to pursue her own interests. Marriage, therefore, becomes a barrier to the woman’s individuality. The general perception of women in society may limit them in realizing their full potential. Such perception becomes a barrier in the woman’s individuality.

Ownership of properties

In patriarchal societies authority comes from the father, husband, or the oldest male member. He is considered the head of the household and he provides for the needs of the family. Ownership of everything in the household is attributed to the husband. The land and the house most often would be in his name and all other properties acquired during marriage. Society may look down or regard someone with awe depending on the property he has acquired. In contemporary society, persons of wealth are regarded highly. Accumulated properties become measures of a man’s achievement, sometimes his value in his community.

In The Awakening, Leonce took pride in his properties. He has a grand residence and he is satisfied with his collection of paintings and other valuable materials. He would walk around his house and look at each of his valuables, such as paintings, vases or curtains. He “greatly valued his possessions, chiefly because they were his, and derived genuine pleasure…” in staring at his material possessions. Edna, his wife is fully aware that everything in this house belongs to her husband. When Edna decided to move out of the grand residence she explained to her friend that the “house, the money that provides for it, are not mine.” One of the things that contribute to Edna’s decision to live in another house was having her own money. Women who have their own economic resources would be able to makes choices, such as the kind of choice that Edna was doing. She also had winnings from her gambling. She attended the races and was able to generate money from her winnings. Aside from these, Edna had been receiving funds from her mother’s estate regularly. Thus, with these resources, it was possible for her to transfer to a smaller home.

In contemporary society, women’s ownership of properties is not widely accepted. Land, vehicles, and other properties are still named after the husband or the father. In some instances married couples become co-owners of their houses or lands. Webb (2016) conducted a study in Africa and the Middle East and part of her data showed perceptions of women landowners. These women explained that in their society, their ownership of property was not fully recognized. This lack of recognition was a limiting factor for them. They also have a “fear of confronting male authority” and their first barrier was “going against [their] own learnt and practiced submission to existing cultural norms” (p. 470). The traditional norms of women being submissive to their husbands have become deeply embodied in the minds of women that it takes great courage to express themselves. It is even more difficult to say one’s opinion when such expression is in the form of argument or going against the beliefs of the husband.

Pursuit of individual interests

Once married, women are expected to focus on running the household and carrying for the husband and children. These obligations are considered the wife’s main priorities and everything else are just secondary. Hobbies and other interests may only be pursued only if these would not be in the way of her obligations. In The Awakening, there were three main interests that Edna engaged in outside of her wifely duties. These were reading, swimming, painting, and racing. All these activities provided her with a sense of satisfaction that contributed to her sense of self-fulfillment.

Reading.

“One time after dinner, when she was alone in the house, she was able to “read Emerson until she grew sleepy.” This scene was when her husband left for a business trip and her children were staying with her in-laws. The quiet time in the house made her realized that “she had neglected her reading.” She then became “determined to start anew upon a course of improving studies.” The decision to do so was reached at the absence of her family members, “now that her time was completely her own to do with as she liked.” She was able to focus on this particular interest only because she had the time away from her duties as wife and mother. Such interest was secondary to her obligations at the house.

Swimming

This was a different matter. It was an activity sanctioned by her husband. She was tasked to learn how to swim when she went on the family vacation. This activity contributed to the growing closeness Edna had with Robert. When she was finally able to swim on her own, she felt a sense of self-fulfillment at such an achievement. She said to herself “how easy it is!” She regretted the time wasted when she was just “splashing like a baby.” She continued to practice more and “she would not join the groups… but intoxicated with her newly conquered power, she swam out alone.” This newly-learned capability gave her courage to believe in what she can do on her own.

Painting

In societies where women are tasked to take care of household duties, they depend on their husbands for their financial needs. Generating an income from their own efforts provides a sense of achievement for them. Since outside employment is out of the question, such as in the case of Edna, women make use of their abilities in the arts or their talents in crafts to produce something of value. In Edna’s community, paintings were very popular and artists could earn from such activity. Edna was “beginning to [sell] her sketches,” although she was also aware of the flaws in her paintings. During one of their arguments, her husband tells Edna, “…then in God’s name paint! But don’t let the family go to the devil.” This means that she can engage in her hobby but she should not neglect her duties to her husband and children. Her husband tolerates her painting as long as such an activity does not interfere with her obligations. He regards it “the utmost folly for a woman” to spend the days painting when such hours “would be better employed contriving for the comfort of her family.” Her husband does not believe that she has talent in painting and puts her down by saying that their friends were “more of a musician than you are a painter.” He was referring to a family friend who engages in music but still prioritized caring for the family. The husband does not consider the joys that Edna derive from such a hobby. “She felt in it satisfaction of a kind which no other employment afforded her.” Painting gave her an outlet for self-expression. She did not earn much from it, but it gave her a sense of satisfaction in herself.

Arguments such as those mentioned above are still echoed in contemporary society. Women may have diverse interests but once they become married, the domestic concerns become the focus of their family life. A woman’s talent or artistic tendencies which at the start of the courtship contribute to the attraction felt by the present husband, tend to become sources of conflict when the partners live together as a married couple. Domestic chores and challenges, therefore, limit the opportunities for women to pursue their sports or artistic interests.

Racing

This was one interest that was very profitable for Edna. She had the ability to pinpoint the horse that had the highest probability to win. This ability was recognized by others and they listened to her views about the potential of the most likely winners. She also exhibited a new kind of confidence when she was in these races. In these occasions, “she played for very high stakes, and fortune favored her.” Her excitement was manifested in her appearance. “The fever of the game flamed in her cheeks and eyes, and it got into her blood and into her brain like an intoxicant. People turned their heads to look at her, and more than one lent an attentive ear to her utterances.” She was considered an authority in these endeavors and she felt excited, alive, and very confident.

Racing was an activity that Edna shared with her father. This was a reminder of her life before marriage. When she went to the races, she felt a sense of the familiar. Such familiarity contributes to her confidence. She gets a reminder of her own individuality. She feels like Edna before marriage. Going to the races enables her to regain that part of herself—confident, knowledgeable, and regarded highly by her father. When she married, her image of herself deteriorated because she was someone’s wife. In society, her image is associated with her husband. Her value as a person is evaluated based on this role that she took when she got married. She felt she has lost herself when she got married. Racing gave her an opportunity to regain her confidence in herself. At the same time, all those winnings also make it possible for her to make decisions that otherwise would not be possible if she had no money.

Women’s Attitude towards their Roles

Society dictates clear roles for men and women within the context of marriage. In The Awakening, Mr. and Mrs. Pontellier are expected to perform such roles. As the husband, Mr. Pontellier is expected to provide for the family. He “... himself had his hands full with his brokerage business… making a living for his family on the street.” When he goes away to attend to business concerns, he makes his presence felt by sending goods home to his wife. Such act is appreciated by his family and friends “all declared that Mr. Pontellier was the best husband in the world.” Edna would receive items from the trips that she shares with members of the family. This practice also gives the impression that her husband has wealth and is a very good provider. As the wife of such generous husband, Edna was expected to be proud of having such a partner. She was considered privileged to have landed such a catch. However, Edna feels a fondness towards her husband and expressed affection when he was about to leave for a business trip. At other times, she was not appreciative of her role as a wife. She feels that her husband was not satisfied of her and would always be critical of her actions and decisions.

Wife

Married women are expected to provide care and affection towards their husband. This is by making sure that the husband is served a delicious meal and all his other needs are cared for. Husbands would not be happy when their wives do not show such affection. Edna was not happy in her marriage. She was not happy in her relationship with her husband. This lack of passion for her husband contributes to the feelings that developed between her and Robert. She was infatuated with Robert and she felt happier to be in his company.

The lack of feelings for her husband also led Edna to entertain the company of Alec. She allowed intimacy with Alec because she felt no desire for her husband. There were instances that she felt restraint, sometimes a little guilt over her actions. However, she continued to meet these men. Edna did not feel freedom within her marriage. She considers her wifely obligations diminished her being. She actually longed for freedom. She resents being considered a possession, just part of her husband’s properties.

The wife is the husband’s main support. She is expected to take care of the husband’s business associates. Every Tuesday Edna has to receive the wives of their business acquaintances. However, she was not happy with this arrangement. She felt she had no freedom to do what she preferred to do. In the contemporary world, women’s decision-making capabilities are not widely recognized. In Morocco, for example, women need to have somebody to speak for them when decide to get married. This is the “wali” or the woman’s legal guardian who makes the decision for marriage in their society. Elliot (2014) looked into their country’s new Family Code and concluded from his interviews that this legislation “fails to significantly ameliorate the position of women in family and rather reconsolidates gender inequality” (p.24). Despite its progressive image, the culture of “patriarchal relations” is still deeply embedded in the Moroccan culture. Their new Family Code “reaffirms local perceptions of inequality in marital relationship, denying women the right to participate in the household affairs on equal footing” (p.24). In this society men are still regarded as the primary providers for the household and women are expected to show obedience to their husbands or fathers.

Mother

Throughout the text there are numerous instances presenting the expected behavior and responsibilities of a married woman. One of these was being a mother-woman. This person should be protective of her children, “fluttering about with extended, protecting wings when any harm, real or imaginary, threatened their precious brood.” Edna did not show such characteristics. Her husband had preconceived ideas of the ideal mother woman and he was disappointed that his wife did not have these. From the start of the story, the husband’s dissatisfaction of his wife’s motherly behavior was already evident. He had clear ideas of how a mother should behave and he feels disappointed when his children do not receive the kind of attention that he requires for his children.

Edna believes that she still can maintain her own self and be a mother at the same time. She says that she would “give up the unessential.. give my money,.. give my life for my children; but I wouldn’t give myself.” She had come to a self-realization, “something which I am beginning to comprehend, which is revealing itself to me.” Edna showed that she is still capable of being a good mother even if she does not follow the dictates of society.

Conclusion

The women’s role in society has changed over the years. Centuries ago, women were considered properties of their husbands and the freedom to decide for themselves was not recognized. In the contemporary society, women have a certain degree of freedom to pursue their interests and assert themselves. However, their role in society as the supportive wife, doting mother, and obedient daughter are still widely regarded as the ideal. The story The Awakening present images of the challenges that confront a woman in society. This story speaks of how Edna reacted to the challenges that she faced in her life. In her journey she came to a lot of realizations. She also was on the way to her self-actualization. She may not have fully acquired self-fulfillment but she was able to make decisions that enabled her to discover herself and the things she can do as a woman.

References

Coon, D. & Mitterer, J. (2010). Introduction to Psychology: Gateways to Mind and Behavior. Belmont: Cengage Learning.

Elliot, K.Z. (2014). Morocco and its women’s rights struggle: A failure to live up to its progressive image. Journal of Middle East Women’s Studies, 10(2), 1-30.

George, N. (2012). A feel for context: Contingency and women’s collective agency. Situating Women: Gender Politics and Circumstances in Fiji. ANU Press. Retrieved on March 29, 2017 from http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt24hbtd.7

Grossi, R. (2014). Love and Marriage. Looking for Love in the Legal Discourse of Marriage, 17-37. Canberra: ANU Press.

Webb, A. (2016). Information and communication technology and contesting gender hierarchies: Research learnings from Africa and the Middle East. Journal of Information Policy, 6, 460-474. Retrieve on March 29, 2017 from http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.5325/jinfopoli.6.2016.0460

Annotated References

Elliot, K.Z. (2014). Morocco and its women’s rights struggle: A failure to live up to its progressive image. Journal of Middle East Women’s Studies, 10(2), 1-30.

Elliot looked into Morocco’s new Family Code to assess the country’s application of its national gender agenda. From his interviews during his ethnographic fieldwork, the author concluded that this legislation “fails to significantly ameliorate the position of women in family and rather reconsolidates gender inequality” (p.24). Despite its progressive image, the culture of “patriarchal relations” is still deeply embedded in the Moroccan culture. A clear manifestation is the belief in the “wali” or the woman’s legal guardian who makes the decision for marriage in their society. Majority of those interviewed reaffirmed the primary role of the wali in the marriage of women. The author emphasized that the new Family Code “reaffirms local perceptions of inequality in marital relationship, denying women the right to participate in the household affairs on equal footing” (p.24). In this society men are still regarded as the primary providers for the household and women are expected to show obedience to their husbands or fathers. This article is relevant to the study because the relationship between Mr. and Mrs. Pontellier is an example of how the husband is expected to provide for the family and the wife should exhibit obedience at all times.

George, N. (2012). A feel for context: Contingency and women’s collective agency. Situating Women: Gender Politics and Circumstances in Fiji. ANU Press. Retrieved on March 29, 2017 from http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt24hbtd.7

This chapter from the book by George focuses on women’s organizations. The author stressed the importance of women’s organizations in shaping the women’s agenda especially at the international level. A look at events in the past two decades would show that lobbying by women’s organizations at the international arena contribute to the formulation of international agreements such as the CEDAW. The author calls women’s organizations as the “drivers of innovation in development policy” (p.27). The study, conducted in Fiji, showed how women activists brought greater awareness about the situation of women in the Pacific islands. This particular source is relevant to the current study because it touches on women’s leadership capabilities. It shows that women take an active role in advocating for change in the contemporary world.

Grossi, R. (2014). Love and Marriage. Looking for Love in the Legal Discourse of Marriage, 17-37. Canberra: ANU Press.

Grossi provides a historical overview of how the concept of marriage changed in the past three centuries. She notes that a “significant change that has occurred to marriage is the slow removal of men’s total power and control over their wives” (p.26). The author also looks at love in marriage and she points out that love makes marriage “less stable… more fickle..[with possibilities of having]… casualties of romantic love (p.31). In this chapter, the author also states that romantic love was a “pivot of oppression for women, describing love as a holocaust, a hell and a sacrifice” (p.32). This chapter is a very relevant source because it explains the anguish that Edna from The Awakening was experiencing. Edna felt romantic love towards Robert and she lost the will to live when her loved one decided to leave her. The explanation of the changing perceptions of marriage over different periods in history enables the reader to understand the context of Edna. This character was existing at a time wherein women’s power within marriage was not considered equal to men.

Webb, A. (2016). Information and communication technology and contesting gender hierarchies: Research learnings from Africa and the Middle East. Journal of Information Policy, 6, pp. 460-474. Retrieve on March 29, 2017 from http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.5325/jinfopoli.6.2016.0460

Webb investigated how information and communication technology (ICT) perpetuates existing gender inequalities and how these too can be used to effect changes to improve women’s situation. Her study was conducted in 2008 to 2012 in Africa and the Middle East. She showed that making ICT available to women does not immediately “ensure equitable access and foster gender equality” (p.461). She recommends that there is a need to “recognize and understand the political, social, cultural, and economic contexts and norms into which ICTs have been introduced” (461). Among the participants in the study were young women and land owners. For the young women, they felt freedom in their use of “online spaces…to express themselves” (p.468) because the image they presented was how they see themselves and not how they should appear as depicted by society. The female land owners identified lack of recognition over their ownership of their land as a limiting factor. One of these landowners voiced out that a major challenge was how to overcome her “fear of confronting male authority” (p.470). In their societies gender relations have already been deeply embedded in their culture that it was difficult to overcome tradition. As the woman explained, the first barrier was “going against my own learnt and practiced submission to existing cultural norms” (p.470). This source is particularly relevant because it provides an explanation of why women in particular societies find it difficult to express their ideas and opinions.