Jake the American Hero

Jake was a normal American boy who was paddling in the sea one day when he was bitten by a scorpion in the sand. A purple sea urchin stung him five minutes later. In the middle of the diving, an octopus struck him with one of its lethal tentacles. You all know the rest of the story—he felt sick and nauseous. Before he could board the closest lifeboat, his last visitor arrived: a leech with parasitic protrusions on his left leg. Jake tried to cry, but the louder he screamed, the more water he drank. He wished to wake up, and he did. He had wet his bed once again.

From such turbulent, unpredictable merging of events, only a superhero with formidable powers could emerge. It is that night in his dimly lit room that Jake realized he could breathe underwater and shape shift into anything he wanted, an animal, doll or even a duck (i love ducks). He was a supernatural. With his new superpowers Jake, like all other superheroes fanatically saving the world in underwear’s, decided to save the world from the bad guy. Protect the city and people. Keep the city free from moral villain pollution. And finally for his last promise to the city, Jake promised to save all girls all over the world from heartaches. That Sounded like a stupid noble superhero trait.

But the more Jake searched with his incredible vision, the more he rocketed the world at hyper-velocities and subjected his eardrum to multi-frequency thunder sounds. The more he tried to protect girls from greenhorns, who would break their hearts, the more he felt Billy would break Lisa’s heart. Lisa had been Jake`s crush since middle school, but when Lisa had a hormonal moment somewhere in grade six, she decided to date Billy. Billy, to Jake, was a loser who deserved no one to love him. Not even Lisa. Every science day saw Jake hoping his “average” projects would grant him a chance to team up with Lisa and create a universal cyborg capable of screening aliens at the airport while detecting narcotic being smuggled in the united states. Lisa was a smart girl just in love with the wrong guy. She had long blonde hair that innocently crept beneath her tiny ears giving her the tinge of a royal one. She had a mole at the right corner of her mouth that contrasted with her pink lips.

With his new superpowers, Jake was determined to win Lisa’s heart even if it meant crossing the oceans for her especially now that the world showed had shown him mercy and handed him with supernatural abilities. It was time to strip Billy his trophy. He had been good for so long that people stepped on him like a rag. He had withstood multiple humiliations because he could not match up to his rival Billy. And so Billy deployed his gifted abilities in his classwork. He would do his experiments in flash speeds; his frog dissections often emerged the best. He was the student of the year. But with all this, Lisa showed no shred of interest.

Jakes life changed when he saw a note Tony had passed to Lisa during math class. Using his magnified vision, Jake screened the paper, and he read just what he needed to learn. ‘Tomorrow at five, he mustn’t know”. Jakes teenage mind traveled miles around the globe, and when it got back to him, he felt a sting of rage and bitterness. Lisa was just like the rest giggling and chuckling down the school hallways as they narrate their dirty weekend bygones to each other. But he had thought she was different. She smiled differently. She walked differently. She acted different (at least that’s how she acted in his presence).It turns out Lisa had been having clandestine affairs. No wonder she always looked grumpy and lazy every Monday morning. The more Jake thought of Lisa and Jake, the more he felt disgusted by her, the more he wished he could tell her what she will have to miss.

That evening as Jake was strolling home, his cheeks and shoulders hanging low, he ran into tony. “Hi man, seen Lisa anywhere,” Tony asked. What a snake, Jake thought.

“Lisa? no. I haven’t seen her today” Jake replied walking away because he could feel the hulk-smash part of him was making a concerted effort to tuck away his self-control. He moved further away and behind him followed Tony shouting` I know you like her man, but she thinks you’re random and ordinary ha-ha!”.

That was it! Jake the superhero had had enough of everyone’s humiliation. He was tired of chasing after Lisa when Lisa had eyes for other men who weren’t worth her time and energy. He was tired of playing good when everyone else played rough on their side. He was tired of watching Lisa walk away into the sunset in Billy`s arms. He was tired of being below everyone. So Billy made a U-turn heading towards Tony in a clenched fist. He could swear this was the day a superhero would be on national headlines for killing someone. Before he could strike his first superhero fist on Tony`s cheeks, a gunshot broke through the air. It was Billy, the man. The show was just getting started for Jake. Finally, the three would give testimony on his supernatural abilities. Apparently, Billy had caught wind of tony and Lisa`s illicit affair Through the Gilmore High School fan page. It was at this moment that either one of the boys would head to the city morgue or New York`s Juvenile Police station for interrogation and Jake was certain he was not one of the two.

Jake was eager to showcase his new abilities but before he could another gunshot penetrated the air this time even louder. The trill of danger, Jake thought. One, between the two, had been shot but he couldn’t identify who it was. A cursory look and proved Billy had been shot in his chest and was bleeding profusely. Tony on the other end had suffered from two accounts of gunshot trauma, with the last tying him to murder charges. He was unresponsive and appeared as though to be in a trance. All this turn of events angered Jake. The only chance he had to showcase his abilities had been ruined yet again. One of his rivals was losing too much blood while the other had chickened out for using a gun for the first time. ‘You killed Billy; now I will have to kill you. Everyone must pay their crimes’. Another trauma tony thought. Jake picked up the pistol from Billy`s already greying hands. “But Billy is not dead; we can still save him” tony defended himself trying to apply pressure on Billy’s wound. Jake picked the pistol, aimed at tony and pulled the trigger. With eyes popped out and cranium split into incomprehensible pieces, tony plummeted to the ground. “That is what superheroes do; they set a state of balance in the universe.” Jake retorted.

“No they don’t” Lisa appeared holding a power saw. She looked pale and white. But she still looked beautiful in her cheerleader costume. She moved closer to Jake. She smelled nice. She reminded him of the sea. ‘I remind you of the sea, don’t I? She asked slipping her soft fingers into Jakes nervous clenched fist.

‘Err yes, but Billy is dead, you loved him, right?’

“Who said I did’. You are smarter and more supernatural, show me one trick, and we can run away to the ends of the world.” Lisa whispered.

“But you and To..Tony….are…were…”

“Hush love, you talk too much. It is why I never chose you as my science project partner. Take my hand and let us run away. Let us give rise to new stronger offspring. The cops will show up in a moment, and you know very well that there is nothing the people of a city love more than to see their hero end in jail” she smiled coyly. Jake held Lisa`s hand tight, pulled her closer to his athletic frame as he had always wished, he bent down to bestow upon her the kiss of a superhero.

“Jake, wake up, you wet up the entire couch again..” that was Jake`s mother. Jake woke up, looked around the house and smiled. It had been a bad dream. One which Jake had the opportunity to be a superhero but failed to become one. A dream where Lisa was no one’s but his. It is only in his dreams that Lisa is always his.